Playing the odds

Speaking of captaincy skills, deciding upon the batting order is always one job that is more of an art than skill. The art being to keep most of the players happy most of the time. No doubt the players believe that there is not much to this art but the science (or rather the maths) doesn't agree.

There are, believe it or not, around 40 million different batting orders that can be selected using a team of 11 players (that is calculated as 11 factorial for those that care or understand (represented as 11! by us oldies) ). So cut us captains some slack if you think we get it wrong from time to time.

As far as the Socials are concerned, I am working my way steadily through the batting order options trying to find that magic formula that will eliminate that ever present likelihood of a batting collapse. But you will now understand that the odds of Marcus and Ed opening the batting one day are pretty remote - which I guess is a relief to everyone else at least.

Social vices

The Edict has been handed down....all teams must have a vice captain. For the Socials this causes an obvious dilema - who on earth would want the job? It is well known that the Socials are ... well, an independant lot. Being skip is more like being an on-field agony aunt:

'My foot really hurts, but don't take me off now'
'I will field anywhere skip, but not by the hut'
'I am not late, I thought it was a 2 o'clock start'
'I am available on Sunday, but not as a bowler'
'I would prefer not to open, I want to have a big tea'
'I am a bowler who bats but my back hurts at the moment'
'I am happy to umpire but I am not very good'
'I have collected the money. It's all there but it doesn't add up'

So get your applications in now - in fact go for the top job - you will have my support.

Update: Ray Ferris was voted in as Socials vice skip - which is poetic justice as many of the quotes above are his.

You only have yourselves to blame....

If you are reading this blog and thinking 'why?' then you can blame the Socials. For it was this group of generous souls who clearly felt that I needed to give up playing cricket and just do the match reports. So they very kindly sent me off on a Guardian master class for cricket journalism. Thanks guys....but this blog is one of the consequences and now that Pandora's box is open God knows what will emerge - you have been warned.